ARCHIVE

Although there are many readers for this blog, but still..... there is lack of response related to my intention of dedicating this blog for PhD research clinic, which I intend to share my knowledge & experience in doing research. Therefore, I've decided not to update frequently after this, however this blog will remain as my archive. Thnx to all my readers.

My 1st workshop

Alhamdulillah, my 1st workshop for 'Qualitative analysis using Nvivo' that I run has been successfully carried out and achieving its objectives. All participants are very satisfied with the outcome at the end of the program. Hopefully this knowledge will expand and be useful to them n others, InsyaAllah.

As for today

As for today, 3 people had seek advice from me regarding their research. 1 from Unisel & 1 from UMP seek my consultation for one to one coaching to analyse their research data using Nvivo. The other 0ne is my fren from Salford Uni who'd asked about how to formulate interview questions for pilot study n main data collection, we've done this tru YM voice calling as I'm using Iphone so there is no problem for me to receive the call anywhere. But if u wanna call me from outside Malaysia, there are so many medium we can use to get connected, ie; facetime, viber, ym...ops! skype i dont have :)

This weekend I will be throwing my 1st one day workshop with 10 participants, as this my 1st time I hope n pray to Allah everything will work smoothly n succeed, InsyaAllah. Wish me luck ya!

After the death of STEVE JOBS

After Steve death, I've been thinking a lot. The word that keep spinning in my head is 'do not settled until u've find what u loved to do'. What I love to do????

Honestly I love to speak, I have this ability to gain people trust and able to convince people to do the right thing totally up to their judgement, what I do is only guide.

Therefore, I've been thinking to use my advantage for the greater good. Since I have knowledge in doing research and I loved to share this knowledge with people out there, especially who is currently persuing their PhD. If u feel like u need to talk with somebody, to ask about research or anything that may involved resulted of your research, pls feel free to drop me a note, we can start from there.

U know what, I loved to share my knowledge....as it not mine, its from Allah The Almighty so, I feel responsible to share and expand this knowledge to all. May Allah bless me in doing this coz I know this is what I like to do, InsyaAllah.

Therefore, from now on my blog name is officially changed to PhD 'Dr CT Research Clinic' ^___^' Bismilillahirrahminirrahim.......

It's been a while now..

It's been a while since my last update. What can I say... work n life has been so busy these days.

Currently I'm teaching UG diploma until mid Sept, then I'll start to teach UG Degree starting mid Sept. My research work for now is submitting the revised paper for 1 international journal, hope n pray this time it will be accepted. Currently, writes 2 paper for next year conference, 1 in Copenhagen n 1 in Cape Town InsyaAllah. Upcoming work will be throwing a 1 day workshop on 'Qualitative Analysis using Nvivo' this coming October InsyaAllah, still ongoing plan, currently waiting for potential participant response. This workshop has been informed tru my FB wall n Nvivo support group wall. If you would like to join, pls drop me an email tru my FB account under my name >>> Siti Uzairiah.

That's all for now. Thanx to all for your support, reading my blog until today although not so much update since I'm back at Malaysia. Hopefully I can do more update after this. Cheers! ^___^ Hepi Ramadhan Al Mubarak everyone! n Raya just around d corner, InsyaAllah.

Catatan dari MALAYA

Alhamdulillah setelah 2 bulan berlalu, kehidupan seharian akhirnya terurus. Menandakan permulaan chapter baru dlm hidup dgn suasana baru dan segala2nya baru. Wpun telah 2 bulan berlalu proses penyesuaian diri masih diteruskan. Terasa seakan tanah tumpah kelahiran ini seperti bumi asing yg penuh cabaran pulak.

Banyak yg ingin dicoretkan, sebagai panduan kpd sahabat2 yang akan turut menjalani transformasi yg sama dlm masa terdekat ini. Tp kurang pasti adakah blog ini 'PhD masa kecederaan' masih sesuai digunakan. Kenangan pahit manis ranjau perjalanan PhD yg ditempoh untuk tempoh 42 bulan yg lalu sentiasa segar diingatan dan tak mungkin dapat dipadam begitu sahaja. Oleh itu sy memutuskan utk membiarkan blog ini dengan kisahnya yg telah pun berlalu, tapi akan diberi nafas yg baru, sesuai dgn kehidupan yg dijalani disini, pd waktu ini, as 3W 'women, worker, wife'. InsyaAllah...

Rancangan Allah utkku hr ini

Last night got text from Prof. Eddy saying he's not well n couldn't come to the office to get the green form signed. I let my boss know n she said lets speak to admin n see what they will do about it.

Literally, this morning when I arrived at the office I met my boss n she said, she just got message from Eddy asking her to call him at home. She did, n Eddy ask to send him the electronic version of the form so that he can sign on the form n email it back to me. In the meanwhile, I've printed out the final copy of the thesis n send it to binding @ U-Print for next day services, which is next Tuesday, because Tomorrow n Monday will be public holiday here in UK. It cost me around £150 all together for 3 copies.

Alhamdulillah, around 3pm, got email from Eddy returning the signed form. It's almost done now, just waiting for the hardbound copy to be submitted to the PG office next Tuesday.

Allah Almighty, just the day before... I'm stuck with no solution, but when I give it all back to HIM, HIS plan is the BEST! TQ Allah, all praise is for Allah.

As for today 20.4.2011

Sejak Sabtu lepas sampai semalam sgt2 busy dgn ops loading brg kontena utk di hantar pulang ke Malaysia. Isnin kontena loading.
Selasa mula g opis balik, sbb sgt2 risau internal examiner not respond to my emel or my boss sinbe last Friday. We've heard that he's not well, which worried me so much. My flight will be next Wednesday, Ya Allah tinggal berapa hari je lagi, sgt2 berharap dpt hantar sblm balik, yelah bukan apa I should submit final submission within 4 weeks, now 2nd week already. Ya Allah kau sembuhkanlah Prof. Eddy, semoga urusan2 ku yang tertangguh dapat diselesaikan sebelum ku pulang. Tolonglah Ya Allah, sesungguhnya tiada daya usahaku melainkan dengan izinMU, berikanlah ku pertolongan dari segala arah Ya Allah, Yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang, Amin.

Special email from Boss :)

Got this email, late this evening from my boss. Although she is tough but she is very good in her supervision style. I'm grateful, TQ Allah for things You had plan for me. Alhamdulillah atas segala kurnia dan nikmatMU, semoga nikmat ini akan menjadikan aku lebih bersyukur dan dekat padaMu, Amin.

Hi Siti,

I'm very proud of you for your brilliant performance today. you were
very professional and I was pleased to see you've taken all the points
we discussed on board. Very well done and well deserved outcome

Also the corrections are very minor which you can finish off within a
day probably! my suggestion is for the optional correction to give it a
miss. I like the table as it is and if you are to discuss the issues, it
will become yet another literate synthesis section.

Congratulations once again!

Kind regards,

Professor Dilanthi Amaratunga

12 APRIL 2011

Alhamdulillah, baru sahaja selesai mengharungi viva sebentar td. Awarded with minor correction within 4 weeks to be submitted. Secara ringkasnya;

10.00 am start with presentation

10.15 am Defending the thesis

12.45 noon session stop

1.15 pm the result announced by the chairman

1.40pm officially the viva session finish after the list of correction given by the Chairman

TQ Allah yg Maha Besar atas nikmat kurniaanMU.

The details will be updated soon....... tungguuuuu!!!

The date is confirmed, Alhamdulillah

Sepertimana yg dimaklumi semua, tujuan blog ini di tulis adalah utk berkongsi pengalaman suka duka menjalani perjalanan PhD dalam tempoh 'Masa Kecederaan'.

Wpun sebenarnya sgt takut utk berkongsi cerita kerana ada rs ragu2 yg membisik2 disudut hati, namun dgn niat ikhlas utk sama2 berkongsi secara keseluruhannya perjalanan PhD yg dilalui, walau apa pun natijahnya kelak, sy tekad utk sama2 berkongsi cerita, perasaan dan pengalaman dgn sejujurnya sebagai janji saya kpd pembaca sejak mula blog ini ditulis. Dgn itu sy juga berharap para pembaca tidaklah membuat sebarang spekulasi terhadap penulisan blog ini.

Dengan itu sy ingin kongsikan disini bahawa sy telah pun mendapat surat rasmi pd hr ini berhubung penetapan tarikh viva sy sprt berikut;

7^th April 2011

Via Email

Dear Siti

Oral/Viva Examination

This is to confirm details of your viva which will be held on Tuesday 12th April 10:00 am in Maxwell Building, room 729.

Present will be your supervisor and;

External examiner: Dr XX

Internal examiner: Prof XX

Independent Chair: Dr XX

The Chair should introduce all those present at the oral examination and attempt to put all parties at ease. The Chair is also responsible for ensuring that you receive a copy of the Joint Examiners Report Form and any supplementary documents with comments for corrections and / or revision. Where comments are of a specialist academic nature, the Chair should consult the Examiners for clarification.

I would be grateful if you could confirm your attendance.Please feel free to contact me if you have any queries.

Thank you for your time

Best of luck!

Yours faithfully

Admin Staff

To all my reader out there, pls pray n Doa for me, may everything going smoothly during the session, InsyaAllah, Amin.

07.04.2011

Hari ini seorang kawan baik saya disini, telah pun berjaya melepasi vivanya sebentar td with very minor correction. She did it within 80minutes +- duration.

I'm proud to call u 'Dr. Siti Fatimah Bahari' u deserve it dear!

Alhamdulillah.

This week calendar

Commencing from 4-8th April

Monday - Preparing/rehearsing for mock viva on Tuesday

Tuesday - Having mock with my boss n her colleague

Wednesday - Attending workshop on 'Community Engagement' knowledge transfer

Thursday - Having a meeting with boss to hear her comments & feedback resulted from the mock

Friday - Having another mock with fresh doctorate under my boss supervision b4

Having nightmare

I'm having the viva nightmare three days in a row now -__-

I guess, my stress level is very high n I can't really control it.

I think, I must start the quarantine duration from now on.

Within 10 days..........

I must have faith n believe in myself.

Serahkan diri bulat2 kpdNYA, Tawakkal I must.

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah, Amin.

D viva challenge

IS.......... to remember your 42 month research in your head n u've only got the thesis as a back up. to me, it is scaryyyyyy T__T

Menjelang Viva Voce

Td pg after meeting ngan boss, boss decide to have 2 mock viva for me, before the real one approaching. I'm being told to prepare the presentation slide around 25 slides. Wpun sgt nervous sebenarnya, tp harungi sajalah :0 Wish me luck ya! Ya Allah permudahkanlah jalan perjuangan ku ini, Amin.

Something to look back

Akan menjadi kenangan manis suatu hr nanti T___T

Centre for Disaster Resilience

My son asked

My son asked 'Mum, y u looked bz n still going to the office? u said your work is done'.
Me, 'yup my report is complete, but now I need to prepare for the oral examination. Remember that I've told you last time, I will have 2 brilliant Professor asked me everything about my work, then I need to defence myself, u know... like a lawyer present a good case so that he/she will win the case. That is why I'm so busy to prepare for the case (oral exam)'
He asked some more 'what is the thing that u need to prepare exactly mum?'
Me, 'I need to prepare 100 anticipated Questions from the examiner, and provide the answers'.
He said ' That is a LOT!!!'
Me, ' Yes'.
He asked 'so how long it will take, for u to do that mum'
Me, 'I hope I can complete it within a week (sambil gelak2 bengong)'.

Tibe2, aku rs cam tak cukup masa n at the same time mls pulak nk pecahkan kepala pikiaq jwpn2 kpd soklan2 yg telah pun aku listkan pg td :) wa!!!!!

Lain padang, lain belalang

Ada seorg kwn bertanya, 'what u will reward yourself when u've succeed in your PhD'?
lidah terkelu otak sedikit blurr nak jwb, sbb mmg tade apa2 plan nak reward apa2 to myself, cume ada minta some 'thing' sentimetel value from bucuk, itu ajer, honestly'
yg lain2 cume pk apa nk reward hubby, anak2 n mak abah. rs mcm kalau aku berjaya kelak, kejayaan tu semua adalah milik mereka, tanpa mrk... PhD ini takkan berhasil. aku takkan mampu......... (mode: sgt terharu n air mata bergenang)
mmg sejak dulu aku suka pentingkan org2 yg aku syg, jd bile aku rs mrk byk berkorban, terluka, terasa sepanjang perjalanan aku menuntut ilmu, aku rs hanya dgn memastikan mrk semua gembira akan membuatkan aku tersenyum puas.
Flashback>>> aku bermula dr bwh, diploma, kerja.....n taking part time degree, n.....then...part time master , n...now... I'm doing PhD, here...in England land, satu2nya suasana yg tak terbayangkan. Ya Allah besarnya Rahmat, banyaknye nikmatMU buat aku yg penuh dosa ini. Tru bad n good things, u brought the good from me, I realised..... Alhamdulillah, TQ Allah for your love n everything.

24.03.2011

Sesungguhnya penantian kali ini adalah satu debaran yg amat kuat dirasakan. Tiada kata2 yg boleh menggambarkan betapa cemas dan risau memikirkan.
Hanya doa yg mampu dipanjatkan moga Allah Sang Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang, Maha Kuasa, Maha Pengampun dapat memberikan ku ketenangan, kekuatan, kecekalan hati dan kelapangan dada. Moga apa yg bakal diharungi mendapat keredhaanMU Ya Allah, Amin.

1st submission

Alhamdulillah syukur atas nikmat dan rahmat Allah. Sekarang sedang menunggu tarikh hari perbicaraan akan berlangsung. Jd skrg ini perasaan sy adalah sgt2 takut, berdebar2, tak keruan, camx confident pun ader, n.... cam nak jerit kuat2 bole? x mau tulis pjg2, lets the picture tell the story >__<

Progress update

Oleh krn bos dah bg green light to prepare for submission, jd semlm aku berulang alik dr tempat2 binding yg murah dan ke office utk mendapatkan kebenaran agar cara binding di tempat selain dr Salford Uni boleh diterima utk 1st submission for viva. Akhirnya, penat lelah aku & hubby berbaloi bile admin kata PG office say the copy that I've shown them is alright for submission. Banyak jimat dr £29 jadi £4.50. Scholl2 lain kebanyakkannya student x perlu bayar, school/faculty cover, tp school aku mmg tak cover tulah pasal sibuk mencari kesana sini. Akhirnya ke 'UPrint' at Manchester Uni student Union jugak yg murah, kalau final binding for hardboud pun murah jugak less than £30 tp kalau kat Salford Uni £40++ .
Aku ada ler amik gambar utk tunjuk beza antara £29 punye copy ngan £4.50 punye copy, tp tak tau le boleh nampak jelas tak dalam gambar, cer tgk :)


yg year 2010 tu senior aku punye, yg aku punye tu yg £4.50 nyer version, ok apa, kan ^___^ yelah kenalah cr yg murah sbb nak buat 4 copy, 3 hantar kat PG office satu pulak utk boss, kalau setakat satu je tak kisah le byr mahal pun.

So, hr ni aku nk hantar lg 3 utk binding, next Monday InsyaAllah Boss masuk opis boleh le minta sign dia utk submit, moga2 Allah memperkenankan doa aku, suami, anak2, mak abah, kwn2 agar aku dpt peluang utk viva sblm balik end of next month, Amin.

Email from boss

Hr ni dpt email dr boss, kami berbalas2 email, maleh nak citer psl content email tu. Cumenye info yg paling penting ialah, bos masuk office 21 Mac, so paling cepat boleh submit to PG office ialah pd tarikh tu sbb boss kena sign form for submission. Jd kami berdua pun mencongak2 dr Plan A ke Plan B, bos tanye bile paling lewat nak balik Msia, aku kata at the latest end of April itu jer, dia pun ckp kena tgk le camne, kalau examiner ada ms n sempat nk baca ada lah peluang nak viva sebelum balik.
Apa yg boleh dibuat sekarang hanya berdoa, kerana hanya Allah jualah yg memegang segala sesuatu, semoga Allah mencukupkan masa yg terhad ini bagiku menyelesaikan urusanku, Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

Rasa macam....???

Bile tgk news sana perang...sinun tsunami.... mcm2 lg yg berlaku sejak 2 menjak nih, aku rasa mcm PhD ni bukan le apa2 sgt pun, yg nak stress bagai tak berbaloi. Cer tengok org2 lain yg tgh menghadapi peperangan & bencana alam tu, lagi hebat dugaan dan tekanan yg mrk hadapi, yet...life still go on. Salute!!!!

Ya Allah terima kasih atas segala nikmat dan rahmatMU kpd kami. TQ Allah....Alhamdulillah.

Update!

Setelah beberapa lama menyepi krn kebizian dan juga krn mencari kembali kekuatan, hr ni aku update entry.
Last Sunday, my proof reader given all 3 final chapters until 1.30am on Monday morning. As a result, I'm working 12 hours staright on Sunday till 12.30midnight and continue work the next day. Petang Isnin tu balik dlm kul 4 lebih coz dlm kul 6 nak g berguru ngan member utk buat autogenerated pages, table & figure caption. Oleh krn ada masalah teknikal sampai kul 10.30 mlm pun keje2 tu gagal dilaksanakan.
Aku yg frust ni sambung keje balik Selasa pg, try to do it manually, but Alhamdulillah berkat doa anak2 pg tu yg mengharapkan mama mrk pulang awal sbb hari amik report work, akhirnya ada pertolongan yg tak disangka2. Sape lagi, kalau bukan mamat gadget kat opis aku yg dtg sekali sekala, setelah hampir sejam setengah menggodek akhirnya masalah heading 1 -4 yg nak dibuat autogenerated pages tu berjaya diselesaikan. So nasihat aku kpd korg yg nak menulis tu, buat le heading caption tu awal2 jgn buat last minit mcm aku, bile 7 file nak combine jd satu file kelam kabut auto heading tu nak baca pastu figure n table byk yg lari.
Tp kesian kat anak2, oleh kerana masalah tu berjaya diselesaikan dlm kul 12.30 noon so aku x sempat nk perbetul semua benda by 3pm, so....mama minta maaf x dpt dtg, mama harap anak2 mama maafkan mama n hope u ols understand kalau tak skrg satu hr nanti maybe.
In the meanwhile, aku pulun siapkan final draft ptg tu jugak sbb dlm kul 4.30 hubby nak amik then g mkn terus ngan anak2. Wpun sebenarnya sangat le kelam kabut tp aku manage utk siapkan without final checking. Tp takpe, ptg tu nak g balik umah Lin (member yg ajar autogenerate page tu) sbb ada sikit lg masalah teknikal. 2 page aku yg landscap yg illustrate framework x rotate. So ptg tu bertapa lg kat umah Lin dr kul 6-8pm. Thanks a lot to Lin, akhirnya semua settle n final draft telah pun diconvert ke PDF b4 I'm sending it to my boss.

And..... punyelah aku plan nak submit before Wednesday supaya boss boleh semak n baca for the final output, then supaya aku ada le peluang utk print, bind n submit by nest week........BUT.... hampa....hampeh pun ader, boss aku tade di sini.......dia berada diluar kawasan (obersea lg...bole?)

So, aku pun tak tau dia balik bile, dan dia pun tade nk bgtau aku apa2, I guess...what I can do now is.........waiting...n....waiting some more. tu lah tu, mcm yg aku tulis kat wall FB aku 'wpun nasib tak menyebelahi aku, namun aku yakin ketentuan dan ketetapan Allah itu adalah yg terbaik untuk aku'. Jd aku kena redha dan berlapang dada, apa2 pun looking forward to flyyyyyy back to Malaysia...end of next month, InsyaAllah.

Busuk2 pun, yg penting submit sebelum balik, kalau tak sempat viva, esok mai le balik utk viva, kan....kan...

2 b fair with Neil :)

Hi Siti,

Here is Chapter 5. There are a lot of corrections, but please do not get disheartened.

The 2nd read-through took 2 hours!

I'm now working on Chapter 6 and will update you this afternoon.

Regards,

Neil

note: tq so much Neil! really appreciate it ^___^

Neil Oh Neil...

Janji by Saturday dia nk bg all 3 finale chapters. yg aku ni beria sabtu ahad ni siap ckp ngan bucuk jgn buat apa2 xtiviti reserve utk I, tup...tup pg ahad ni br dpt email dr Neil, dia kata dah siap baca Chapter 5 tp kena baca final through lg sekali sbb byk repeated correction dlm table anaylis, so tak tau ler? harap2 sblm noon boleh le dia bg, so boleh le aku utilise hari Ahad ni boleh keje sampai malam sbb bucuk mmg tak keje. Xpelah...semua ni dah tertulis, aku dah usaha, mungkin inilah yg terbaik, biar lambat...asalkan produce yg terbaik.
Pastu dia kata lg both finale chapter by tomorrow, Ya Allah! boleh ke aku nk siapkan before Tuesday ni complete ngan correction yg aku akan submit balik to Neil. Sesungguhnya masa sgt2 mencemburui aku, hai...hai...hai...

Ya Allah, tiada daya usaha aku melainkan berdoa dan bertawakkal kepadamu, Amin,

03.03.2011

Alhamdulillah, agak dah... @ 0013 dpt email dr Mr. Neil for chapter 4, dia promised lg katanye by Saturday he will completed all the chapters. So by Sunday I can send back to him the sentences that I've corrected/rewrite ^___^ lega....
Basically tinggal satu je lg chapter yg besar iaitu Chapter 5, n the last two chapter will be less than 20 pages each.
Kalau korang nak tau, apa yg Mr. Neil offer as a proof reader, ni le yg dia cover, check it out!

*note: aku copy paste jek dr emel dia :)

A technical note

At the moment your proofed chapters are being saved as 'Microsoft Word 2007' documents with MS Word '97 and 2003 compatibility. Just let me know if this causes a problem, and I will save them differently as requested.

About the use of notes when correcting

I've begun using the 'notes' feature when proof reading text. The idea is that minor corrections or observations which are hopefully helpful to you (e.g. explaining a single-word type of correction) can be inserted quickly as notes in the margin of your original text (in a different colour), to explain why I've done something.

Comments and corrections for larger passages of text (e.g. comments about a whole sentence) will go onto a separate 'comments sheet' as usual.

If you have a preference etc and I will adjust.

itu je, proofing n editing.

2nd March 2011

last night kul 0023 dpt email dr prof reader utk 1 chapter, so hr ni pulun 9-5 siapkan keje2 correction sbb kesian kat budak2 kang kena tumpang umah sape plak sbb abi depa nak g keje ptg. Alhamdulillah, siap jugak so dpt lah pulang kerumah. Harap2 mlm ni dpt la lg emel dr Mr. Neil. Apa pun, I dah inform bucuk awal2 yg sabtu ahad ni mungkin kena bertapa kat opis utk siapkan kerja2 yg bakal menanti. Hubby selalunya faham n very supportive, yg siannya anak2 ler, apa nak buat, anak2ku sabar ye, mama submit je kite qadak g nonton movie ke, g round2 ke...apa2 je lah... pastu mama nak kena sambung packing plak!

Dah bulan 3 dah pun, hmmmm

time2 ni lah rs kalau boleh nak berentikan masa, yelah mana taknye, dh time2 ni semuanya nak dikejar, nak wat lagu mana....dah tertulis :) apa pun syukur Alhamdulillah.
Yg rs mcm x cukup ms tu sbb tgh tunggu proof reader punye feedback, setakat hr ni, br 2 chapter yg dah dikembalikan ada 5 lg chapter, busuk2 kena submit mid March boleh lah ada harapan sikit utk viva sblm balik, kalau lewat lg...mmg tade rezekilah, tu yg rs mcm.... kalau lah masa ini boleh diberhentikan utk proof reader bg balik chapter2 tu.... sbb pastu aku nak wat correction nak finalise...nak print, tunjuk kat boss, kalau dia kata OK barulah boleh bind then submit. Nak bind tu pun mkn dua hari tau, pastu kena charga £27 secopy...waduh!!! nak 3 copy, masak duit £ aku
tu jelah setakat today, kalau ada apa2 nanti aku update lg yek.

A step further

Mlm td dpt feedback dr proof reader @ 12midnight, dlm kul 1am aku terus email SV. Hasilnye pg ni SV reply email @11.36am. Alhamdulillah syukur, beliau berpuas hati ngan keje2 proof reader yg aku pilih tu. Ni le email dr boss aku,

Hello,

This seems to be appropriate.
Pls. go ahead and get the proof reading and the whole thesis together

Kind regards,
Boss

22.2.11

Pg td bgn agak lambat jugak la dlm kul 8.30pg, sbb mlm td mcm tak brp tdo lena terlalu byk mimpi ngeri siap bersambung2 episod tiap kali akuterjaga n tdo balik, tu yg mcm letih sgt2 bile bgn pg td, rsnye my mind not getting enough rest. Sbb dah lambat tak sempat le nak prepare bfast utk family, anak2 ku depa mkn cereal+milk jer cukup, abinye le sian xde bfast, mesti lapar balik keje pg ni. Sowi ye bucuk...
Actually, pg ni check email dpt reply dr proof reader, dia reply mlm td kul 11.30pm so tu yg aku pun mcm kelam kabut semacam nak finalise other sections to be included in my thesis, mcm... apppendices, list of content, list of table & figures, acknowledgement, declaration dll. So, Alhamdulillah by now dah settle dah, so ptg or mlm ni tunggu proof reader punye output plak as he promised I shall received the output by this evening.
Alhamdulillah, syukur sgt2, so far everything working smoothly n moving forward.

'Apa shj yg Allah anugerahkan kpd manusia berupa rahmat, maka tdk ada seorg pun yg dpt menahannya dan apa saja yg ditahan oleh Allah, maka tidak seorg pun yg sanggup utk melepaskan sesudah itu. Dan Dialah Yang Maha Perkasa lagi Maha Bijaksana' (Surah al-Fathir:2)

Alhamdulillah.....syukur

Alhamdulillah..... praise to Allah. Allah Almighty.

Just got positive feedback from my boss, at least ^___^ its moved a step further, syukur sgt2.

ni le emailnye kul 5.28pm td,

I've started reading the whole this again and generally ok with the corrections but I would prefer to do it in detail once the full proof reading is done. accordingly, can you pls. get the thesis proof read, and send me the whole thesis including all other sections, appendix etc.

I hope you are using a good proof reader. Pls ask the proof reader to take a printout and do the proof reading. Once 1st chapter is done. pls. bring it over for me to see in evaluating the proof reading approach.

Regards,
Boss

nota kaki cagu: boss nak evaluate proof reader plak... he...he...

After a while

14hb lepas sejurus slps blog diupdate aku dpt email dr boss minta review jurnal paper, katanye sementara tunggu 1st draft thesis ku disemak. aku pun terus ke opis utk menyiapkan review tu. siap review paper aku bergegas mengerjakan solat zohor utk g training plak ptg tu jam 2, tp lepas solat dpt emel dr boss dia attach 3 chapter lg yg dah direview. Aku pun terus cancel nak g training, mulai fokus utk keje2 correction, mlm tu dpt lg emal utk chapter 6.
Esoknye aku dpt emel sekali lg utk chapter 6 & 7, boss ubah fikiran utk chapter 6 yg dihantar smlm, setelah beliau baca bersekali ngan chapter 7. Both chapter has been restructured, basically berlaku pertukaran content antara keduanya. Dlm 2 3 hari ni kami berbalas email dlm 8kali, termasuk le email aku yg bengang kat dia sbb time2 ni le nak argue psl aku x refer kat dia walhal dia le yg sebenarnya LUPE! benda2 psl content ni, smpai aku fed up aku tulis dlm email tu, kalau aku dpt submit sblm balik pun dah cukup baik dah sbb aku x mau bertangguh2 lagi, selama ni nak ikut ms dia sgt sampai aku dibiarkan menunggu melangut.... x puas hati aku. So bulan 4 ni aku akan tetap balik Msia, aku dh tak nak minta2 extension lg, lgpun extension lepas ni dah tade elaun so buat apa nak dok sini kalau tade duit kan, nak cari susah...aku x nak.
Sampai le ptg Jumaat smlm aku pun siapkan 2nd draft, dan akhirnya aku submit ptg tu jugak. Seminggu ni menyaksikan aku pulang lewat dan terpaksa hubby bercuti pg dan ptg utk menjaga anak2. seminggu ni jugak anak2 mkn luar sbb abinya pun x brp nak sihat.
Ya Allah, aku mohon kpdMu agar beriku petunjuk dan hidayah utk ku menerima taqdirku yg telah kau tetapkan. Sesungguhnya semuanya sudah tertulis.

emotionally aku agak lemah skrg ni, selalu nak salahkan diri sendiri. Last sunday nangis, Khamis pg nangis lg, hari ni je 3 kali menangis, sampai time aku mandi tadi...hubby aku terjerit2 panik mencari2 aku sbb dia ingat aku lari dari rumah, bole? :) nak tergelak pun ader, padahal nye aku mandi kat bwh....

apa pun korg doakan lah semoga perjuangan PhD aku ni akan ada hepi ending nye, InsyaAllah... Amin Ya Allah.

140211

Yesterday, all morning after Subuh I'm crying teresak2 dan berakhir dgn raungan. rs mcm depress pun ader. bucuk yg patutnye plan nk g main golf pun x jd g, he stay with me all morning try to comfort me n b4 noon he bring me outside for lunch n therapy. TQ dear for being so patience n very understanding. semoga Allah memberikanmu balasan syurga diatas kesabaran dan kekuatan menjaga aku & anak2.

still till this moment, I've got no respond, still I'm hoping for the best n also preparing for the worst.

ptg ni ada tetamu dr Scotland nk dtg

66 days.........n counting.....

Beyond my control

Tarikh utk pulang ke Msia semakin hampir, hanya tinggal 69 hari saja lg dr sekarang. Hingga kini boss masih lagi belum memberi feedback for the rest of the chapter yg masih sedang disemak. Saat ini aku melihat peluang utk menyelesaikan urusan PhD sehingga Viva n final submission after the viva sblm berangkat pulang adalah sgt tipis. Justeru itu rasa pengharapan utk pulang dgn membawa kejayaan telah pun ku lontar jauh2. Ternyata masa sgt mencemburui aku disaat2 getir ini. Meskipun bukan salahku tetapi aku tidak boleh melawan taqdir, aku yakin...aku telah berusaha yg terbaik dgn menyelusuri tiap touch point PhD progress. Namun Allah Maha Mengetahui, percaturanNYA utkku sudah tentu jauh lebih baik buatku, meskipun aku gagal utk memahami atau melihat disebalik yg tersurat itu.
Its all beyond my control now, I've done my part, now is the time to let everything to Allah. Allah takkan menzalimi hamba-hambaNYA yg berusaha. Ya Allah hanya dengan menyebut namaMU aku masih waras, TQ Allah krn sentiasa berada disisi utk mendengar rintihan, keluhan dan pengharapan. Beri aku taufik & hidayahMU Ya Allah utk menjalani kehidupan di alam yg fana ini Amin.

Note

Honestly, my mind today a bit distracted with my research progress. Aku percaya Allah itu Maha adil, aku mohon Ya Allah, kerana aku ini sgt lemah dan mudah tertipu dgn hasutan tipudaya syaitan. Bantulah aku Ya Allah, berikanlah ku petunjuk dan hidayah utk berada diatas jalan yg lurus yg Kau redhai.

Hai la nasib....jgn mengeluh x baik :)

Since I'm not received any email from my boss since 2 weeks ago, I've decided to email her instead. Bcoz, as we agreed last time the submission deadline is on mid Feb. As a result I've got her reply...so long.
Long cut short, basically aku x leh rush dia, to have a final product she need 2 b concentrated. Dia akan make sure aku lulus viva dgn thesis aku tu sbb dia tak nak aku fail, sbb kalau aku fail it will ruin her reputation kan (aku rs korang boleh imagine ler isi email tu.
Sbg sorg Islam aku x boleh mengeluh, wpun aku dh siapkan semuanya seawal bulan Oct tahun lepas, tp oleh krn boss aku sgt bz nothing much yg aku boleh buat. Skrg ni aku berdoa dan berharap sgt2 kalau tak sempat viva pun harap dapat submit thesis sblm balik n come back for viva later.
Sentiasa semat dan ingat dlm hati, bahawasanya.... things happened for a reason. Ya Allah tolong kurniakan aku dgn kekuatan, kesabaran dan ketenangan jiwa, Amin.

B 0 S S

Bz sungguh gamaknyer bos aku tu, nk wat lagu mana, wait n see jelah. x reti nak ghoyak doh ambo ni.

79 days

79 days and counting, till I went back to Malaysia for good. But, till now, I'm still waiting for another 5 chapter feedback from my boss.
as I put in the note at my FB, ini semua sudah ketentuan-NYA. so what's remain is doa...tawakkal n berserah diri completely to Allah.
tick...tock....tick..tock... the clock is ticking, the time is moving FORWARD for sure!

Progress update

Setelah dpt feedback from boss mlm isnin baru ni, aku telah bertungkus lumus 3 hari ni utk siapkan keje2 correction mana yg patut. Bucuk pun terpaksa berkorban amik cuti keje 2 hari utk urus anak2 g sekolah pg2 dan juga mengambil alih tugas2 suri rumah sprt memasak, basuh kain, jemur kain, lipat kain sepanjang 3 hari ni. Terima kasih Bucuk krn sgt2 memahami waktu2 kritikal sy.

Hari ni sy dah siapkan keje2 yg berkaitan, dan sy tak mahu bertangguh lagi sy hantarkan email keje2 tu tengahari ni jugak. Tak kuasa dah nak nagdap benda tu, jd harap2 sgt bos berpuas hati n dapatlah kiranya juga dia memberi feedback utk 5 lg chapter yg masih berbaki. Apa pun sebnarnya sgt2 cuak bile memikirkan submission deadline mid Februari ni, mana nk wat correction lagi nak proof read lg nak wat corerction balik after proof read, so sy sgt ngeri apabila memikirkan segala kemungkinan yg ....

To remind myself about my progress update as for today, sy paste kat cni my email to my bos utk tatapan u ols @___@

Dear Prof.,

Responded to your comment for the ‘Introduction’ and ‘Literature Review’ chapter, both chapters have been revised. I would like to brief you about the amendment that I’ve done.

Chapter 1 (Introduction) few paragraph has been taken out to make sure there is not so much information being put in there, and some of it has been re-write to accommodate the cut.

Chapter 2 (Literature review) few sections has been cut and some paragraph that is useful has been taken & rewrite to include into the related section.

I’ve put new argument to the addressed comment by bringing my stand about the issue, and make a link between a section where necessary

All font in the figures has been change using the same font style (calibri), as to minimise the difference between the ‘complex figure’ that I’ve taken from other Journal/report.

All table has used the same font style n size (Times new roman -9)

To avoid the different in colour in the figure, I will print the chapter in black&white for submission

Chapter 4 (The Conceptual framework) 1 paragraph has been added under section 4.3.4 as responded to your comment in Chapter 2 under (comment D45)

Below, are the files attached to this email.

1) Chapter 1 Introduction 4th draft
2) Chapter 2 The Literature review 2nd draft
3) Literature review chapter new content structure
4) Chapter 4 The conceptual framework revise version

Finally, I want to let you know that I’ve received a letter from PG office regarding the notice of submission.

Kind Regards,
Me

x suke arrr

menci giler aku dok kat sni, cepatlah kau tibe bulan 4, aku x sabar! gile meroyan dah ni nk balik Msia.

Experiencing Life

PhD journey has taken almost 3.5 years of my life now. There is a lot things that we can do in three years time. I felt I'm kind of old to do something that I want so bad, plus all this while I need to waited some more.
As I flashback my memories, the 1st time I wasn't ready and it happened naturally. 2nd time I thought I was prepared but 2 b honest it's beyond my expectation n literally I catch up... naturally, but for the 3rd time in my life, I think now....I'm totally ready, well prepared n almost complete, it just.... I'm waiting for the right moment, but now..... when I want it so badly, I just can't.
So, again... I think just let Allah guide me towards the right path n I pray when the time comes I want it to be the best moment in my life. Honey.... I totally understand.

This past few days

Monday I'm @ home taking care of my little angel.
Tuesday @ the office for signing in week, pass by my boss room, the light was on but nobody inside.
Wednesday @ the office to send some food for Sobe Food Event, pass by my boss room, she's in... n look bz infront of her PC, I hope she reads my work.
Tomorrow.... Thursday, I need to go the Council to settle the council tax thing, hmmmm.
Waiting n counting......so many things, really hope that everything go the way it suppose to be. Moga2 dengan izinMU Ya Allah akan berhasil semua urusan yg tergantung, Amin.

Life, here.... extraordinary

I guess towards the end of the journey, I'm kind of remember how its all begin. Somehow I feel so grateful to Allah for giving me chance to go this far. With all the challenges throughout the journey has transformed me to be something different in a good way. To be here...rite now is HIS blessing, Alhamdulillah, TQ Allah for everything that You had planned for me.
Semoga aku menjadi seorang yg sentiasa memandang ke bumi wpun langit ku junjung.
My bucuk, my hakim n farah, my mum & dad, my in laws, my sibling.... TQ for all your prayers all this time. Semoga Allah merahmati kalian semua didunia dan diakhirat.

Kawan-kawan yg dekat dan jauh, pengalaman suka duka.... amat mahal dan berharga, tiada bandingannya pengalaman dirantau orang.

Now, I want to think positive n moving forward. Semoga Allah memperkenankan doa hambaNYA ini, Amin.

2011 - 1st Meeting

it's not actually a meeting, to be fair it just a quick chat with my boss. Soklan pertama sekali yg boss tanye adlh...bila visa u abis? bole, aku mulalah nk pk mcm2.... aku pun cakap arr visa aku smpai hujung tahun ni. Pastu disusuli soklan ke2, when u plan to went back to Msia, aku ckp I start working on 21st April, pastu tu dia diam lama gak arr dlm 2 3minit cam tu.
Then she asked, what date is today? pastu dia jwb sendiri 13.... so... sambil tgk timeline yg bg masa mula2 dulu bulan 9 kalau tak silap aku, pastu dia sambung balik... we try to submit on mid Feb then. So roughly she said she'll have 2 weeks to give me comment n u need to do correction if u had them, then u need to do proof read...... all together within this 4 week starting next week, u need to complete the final draft for viva submission. For now, boss dh bc 2 chapter (chapter2 yg awal le tu....) dia kata minor correction jer, tp chapter2 yg vital dia lum baca lagik, adus.... dia pun hope sgt2 struktur n writing semua ok so hopefully tade major correction yg boleh buat aku sakit kepala nk siapkan dlm masa yg diberi.

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusan ku ini Ya Allah, Amin.

Examiner external & internal telah pun dikenalpasti so harap dpt le kekosongan tarikh examiner around end of March-Early April before I'm going home for good.

Ya Allah, kau lancarkanlah urusan ku ini, Amin.

So, there u are... until next week n a month after that, my life will be hectic, I guess @___@.

Usaha, Doa, Tawakkal, Berserah Diri>>>>> I must!

Meeting esok

Boss sy kalau meeting suka sblm jam 9pg. jd aku pun terpaksalah minta hubby amik cuti esok. Pagi esok kena minta anak2 bersiap awal sikit sbb nk kuar umah awal dlm kul 8.00pg pastu hubby nak terus hantar anak2 ke sekolah. Yelah sbb esok aku meeting jam 8.30pg takut tak sempat lak kalau nk naik bas, naik bas pun dekat sejam sbb kena naik 2 bas bertukar.

Nervous ttp ada wpun rsnya semuanya dh plan ok, tp yelah depan boss ni kena tunjuk bijak sikit, almaklumlah dh masa2 kecederaan ni, tak leh le x confident....confident mesti ada :) fhm2 jelah.... kalau2 tak fhm, buat2 le faham, he...he...

Harap2 sgt semuanya smooth n dapat cari jln yg terbaik utk selesaikan semuanya sblm aku pulang ke Malaysia 19 April ni. Risau sgt kalau x cukup masa, Ya Allah permudahkanlah, sesungguhnya aku telah berusaha, namun Kau lebih mengetahui maka Kau menetapkan aku disini pd tika ini, oleh itu aku mohon kpdMU Ya Allah Yg Maha Berkuasa atas segala sesuatu, bantulah aku Ya Allah, tiada satu perkara yang mustahil pun dgn izinMU Ya Allah, Amin.

11.1.11 Tarikh Keramat, I Like!

Bile boss memperuntukkan masa utk sy hasilnya sejak mlm td 1 email, hr ni je berbalas email 4kali, suker tau! ^___^ hati berbunga2 riang, Alhamdulillah. Yg paling best sekali ialah email bos mlm td,

Dear Siti,

Very happy new year to you and your family Siti. Thank you so much I received your card and everything else, as always, I really appreciate your kindness.

Many thanks for submitting your final sections. I've just finished reading XXX thesis who completed the draft in early October and have given his feedback. Now it is your turn. I will try and get back to you with feedback for each chapter commencing next week. You can then start doing the corrections, re submit them as appropriate and followed by proof reading.

Pls. obtain a "Notice of presentation" form from admin staff, fill it with your personal details and bring it to me. We need to attach the final version of your thesis abstract to this forms, which we can easily do. All other required paper work for the "notice of presentation", I have them with me at the moment.

I hope this helps. Bearing the time scales in mind, let's start planning the viva date and we can perhaps have a quick chat on this when we meet.

Kind regards,
BOSS

Today

Hari ni pg2 td perasaan bercampur baur, berceramuk dgn urusan2 suri rumahtangga n take care anak2...yg nk kesekolah....yg sakit...yg merajuk...yg...mcm2 yg le.
Apa pun lepas hubby balik dr keje I minta dia hantar I terus ke opis memandangkan I kena finalise few things + submit few things as my complete draft. Here go my final chapter and the appendices, together with final list of content as referred to the previous chapter that I've submitted to my boss earlier.
Benda ni kan selagi tak settle, asal buka nak ubah...asal ubah...buka, tu yg aku mls ngadap lama2 writing aku ni, even at the very last minute mesti ada nye lah...rs cam tak cukup sempurna lg sokmo.
Apa pun, hr ni beban tu aku dah let go, finally I've finish my part, now terserah pd my boss pulak. So amacam boss???

01.01.2011

2010 telah pun berada dlm lipatan sejarah, dan kini fasa pengajian berada dlm saki baki tempoh extension yg akan berakhir pd 18 April 2011. Sangat berharap agar mulai detik ini urusan penulisan yg masih menunggu feedback dr boss akan berjalan as smooth as it can be. Tidak bercadang utk memohon tempoh lanjutan krn byk tanggungjawab yg perlu dilangsaikan termasuklah menghormati dan mengiktiraf pengorbanan suami tercinta yg berada disini utk tempoh 42 bulan menjelang April ini.

Semoga Allah merahmati perjuanganku dcni, dan semoga apa yg dijadualkan dpt terlaksana agar aku bisa pulang dgn kejayaan. kembali kpd amanah dan tanggungjawab dan kembali kesisi keluarga yg ditinggalkan di Msia. Ya Allah, perkenankanlah permohonan hambaMU ini, Amin.